Diamonds

Yes, diamonds are beautiful. This pic was from a postcard that I found somewhere in Nashville. Anyway, on the back it says 'Happy Anniversary'. I thought it quite sweet and it made me smile.

I'm old

Yes, I'm old. Really old. I had a birthday last week and I hate being in my 30's. I would love to go back to my 20's. Those were the days!

I ended up having an interview the morning of my birthday - big mistake! Had to get up early, drive 25 miles, have a horrible interview etc. Really messed up my day. But it was my mistake - I really thought I was going to hear back from a different job that I thought I had in the bag, but they keep putting me off with a decision. Ugh. So, I said I would go to the interview on my birthday never intending to keep it...and then I actually had to go on it b/c the other hasn't decided yet. Ugh. I hope I get a job soon.

How can they do that?

My Fourth of July sucked. I LOVE this holiday so much - it is my 3rd favorite holiday of the year, and it sucked. Not just a little bit but a lot.

The day started out well, with a much needed 4.25 mile run at the gym. Then, off to get some free cake downtown to celebrate America's birthday. Had a nap. Then was ready to go see the fireworks. We stopped by and picked up a friend and then we were off.

The second we got there and settled, it started to rain. Luckily, we brought umbrellas just in case. But it rained and rained and rained. We sat in the rain with our chairs and umbrellas for 2.5 hours listening to a good band. 10:45pm rolls around and it is still pouring rain. I just want to see the fireworks. They annouce something and we couldn't quite hear it, but we heard them say 'Go home.' So, a mass exodus occured and we started walking the 2 miles home.

We got about half way home and we heard people in the street say that they are going to do the fireworks at 11:30pm. I couldn't believe it! We walked buy a bar with the tv on and sure enough they were broadcasting the fireworks. By the time we got home, they were over.

I AM SO MAD! How can they do that? All the die-hard fans that just wanted to see the fireworks, were told to go home and they weren't even home by the time the fireworks started.

Like I said, what an awful Fourth of July.

It's official...

I'm unemployed. Well, not exactly. I got laid off from my job and my last day is next week sometime. My job went to India. Ugh. I like the people of India. I liked the 2 weeks that I visited there in 1999. But, I don't like them stealing my job.

So, the next logical question is....should I be a stay at home mom or find another job?

I'm not a kid person. I am not naturally drawn to children. I don't speak their language. I'm not a silly person - which is what my son likes.

So, maybe I should go back to work and earn some money for the fam.

Decisions....Decisions....

Happy Birthday Cassidy!

Yes, today would have been Cassidy's 15th birthday. I guess I'm the only one who remembers when her birthday is.

This is my beloved Cassidy. I miss her so. What a wonderful and loyal cat.
She slept on my bed every night in high school. At times, she was my only friend - at least the only friend who understood me. She would lick away the tears that fell so freely.

I MISS and LOVE you CASSIDY!

Why Oh Why?

I am so sad. Very sad. My heart is ripping apart.

My cat that I grew up with was put to sleep yesterday. I think she was unjustly put to sleep - so that my father can get rid of her. He says she was sick and not eating for the past 2 weeks. He never took her to the vet in the past 2 weeks to see what he could do for her. He never even told me she was sick. I'm not really happy with my father right now.

Actually, this euthanasia of my beloved cat has got me so angry with my father. Among the other things he has done to me over the past 9 months this is the cherry topper.

Honestly, the only reason I'm still talking to him is to get some furniture from his house in a week. After that, I think I will put a big distance b/w him and myself. He is really not my father anymore - he has change (i.e. 180 degrees) in the past 9 months that I hardly recognize him as the loving father that helped rear me.

Sorry to sound so depressed, but I'm very sad. I lost my Cassidy.

Is it wrong....

Is it wrong to enjoy away time from your kid?

I have been away from my 16 month old boy now for 5 days and I'm in heaven! I'm in a good mood all the time, just so happy to have my life back. I do love my child, but the freedom is so sweet. I do miss him at times, but 90% of the time, I'm glad he is away. Is there anything wrong with my thinking?

I will be rejoined with him tomorrow and we will then be on vacation at the beach for a week. Won't be a vacation for me - it will cause me much more work to take care of him in a different place. Ugh. I guess this past week has been my vacation.....

A Holiday!

Finally, a holiday weekend. It's been a long time since I have had one. I'm looking forward to it even though I have a ton of things to get done. Happy Friday!

I was wrong...

I was wrong, I admit it. I'm not wrong alot, but I'm wrong this time. I'm not just wrong, I am REALLY wrong.
I thought it might be good when my son gets sick b/c then my motherly instincts kick in - but he has been sick now for a week and I'm tired of it. I want him to be well again. I want to be able to sleep. He has infected me with something awful, and I'm really sick now too.
And, today is my husband's birthday. Happy Birthday! Sorry, honey. I do love you.

It takes a sickness...

Sometimes I think it is good that my son gets sick. He is 15 months now, and he is sick. He has pinkeye which isn't terrible, but he looked really bad last night - his eyes all crusted over. It just made my heart skip a beat. It made my motherly instincts kick in - trying to comfort him etc. I thought about just sleeping on the floor in his room to be near him if he needed me. I decided against that for I knew if he cried, I would be at his side in a second.
This morning I went into his room at 7am and he was standing up in his crib and gave me the biggest smile! And, his eyes were open - just a little crusty. I just got the biggest rush of love for him. I do love him.
I now have a sore throat - is it from him - I don't know? It doesn't matter, I still love him.

Don't you hate it when you are having a good day, actually a wonderful Friday, and something happens to ruin it? I was in such a good mood today. I don't know why, but I think it was because it is Friday and that always makes me smile. I went to take a nap (since I'm fighting a cold) and I put my son down for his nap too. He cried nonstop for 1 hour. Why? Nothing was wrong with him - he just didn't want to be in his crib. Ugh. So, I didn't get my nap and now I'm in a bad mood AND I'm tired. What a bad day....

My baby is sooo cute sometimes!

I go and get my baby from the crib (age is approx 14 months) and he has taken off his socks. Why does he do this? He drops them behind his crib. I pick him up and I say 'where are your socks?' I put him down and he immediately crawls under his crib and retrieves them. It is so cute! I should video that sometime. Today is a good day with him. I love him dearly....

Don't you hate it when your boss calls and tells you about this exciting new job opportunity - when you really aren't interested? My boss wants to cross train me in a new field so that I can have more billable hours in the future. I'm at 20% billable right now, so how can I say no? I really want to say no, but I didn't - I'm a wimp.

What's in a line?

I took a walk outside and everything is blooming. So nice!

I don't know why - but I thought of a great line from the wonderful movie, GWTW.

Rhett says, 'No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.'

I just love that line! Always makes me smile. What a great movie! I saw it recently and I could see it a thousand more times... ahhhh...

Do you ever feel that your world is caving in on you and you can't breathe? I feel like that now and want to fly away to some country where I can be alone. I would love to be alone for a couple of weeks. No noise, no email, no people around. Yea, I'm a loner - but love me anyway.

I have a relative that lives halfway around the world and loves it there. Minimal contact with friends and family and this person can live the way he/she wants. I always thought that was strange, but I can see now it is genius! The only contact is when this person contacts me - rarely the other way around. Too much family drama going on right now. Love to escape reality.

I have joined the new land of blogs!

Hello All!

I have decided to start blogging... why you ask? Because everyone is doing it. But, I'm not the type to do what everyone else does... It just seems interesting and a good way to get the thoughts out of my head and into reality.

What should I write that people would find interesting? I don't know. I guess I could write about my life from the view of my office chair. I'm looking at my son who is watching some PBS show - which is good - he is quiet. Shhhh.... won't last long!